Lesson Learned

April 12, 2011 – Lesson Learned

After 3 weeks of learning the Ukrainian language I thought I was doing pretty well.  The words made sense in the language class.  I would pick up on how to conjugate certain words to the present tense and I was able to use them in a sentence.  In class it made sense.  Our language instructor would help us with certain words until we said them right.  And we would repeat words and then repeat the word again and then again and then once again and then one more time just to be safe.  We would practice dialogue with each other and it was easy.  Everything was in front of us.  On the board, on pieces of paper posted on the walls, in the book, in my notes, the language was everywhere.  But as soon as I’m outside of that classroom my mind draws a blank.   Words seem to just merge into each other.  My conjugates are lost and I speak in one word sentences.  I mix up Tagalog words with Ukrainian words with Spanish words with English words and even words that I make up in my mind.  I even try to speak in an accent hoping that they would understand something that I’m saying.  So I do what I can do and smile nod my head and hope that these words can sink into my head.  And my lack of the language wasn’t more obvious than today.

Today was the first day that two of us in our cluster of 5 were to teach a class in Ukrainian to a class in the local school and while the other three would teach Friday.  When I found out that we had to teach a class in Ukrainian I thought to myself ‘How in the world was I supposed to teach a class in Ukrainian when I couldn’t even have a normal conversation with my host father’.  I’ve only personally talked to my host family in Ukrainian and to teach a class was crazy thought.  And as fortune had it Lindsey and I were the first pair to teach a class while the other 3 volunteers in our cluster got to watch us stumble our words and look lost in front of the class.  The topic that we were to teach was the issue of abusing alcohol and drug use and this was for the 10^th form (or 10^th grade).  It was going to be a 45 minute lesson on something I didn’t even know how to teach.  Maybe I could have drank for 45 minutes and told them it was a bad idea to drink so much and to learn from my lesson.  Needless to say my partner and I planned our lesson a couple of days before, translated everything in Ukrainian, made handouts, wrote a script for us to say and so we thought we were golden.  An hour before we had to teach the class my nerves started to eat me up inside.  All I could think was ‘Yikes’.  I never taught a class to anybody in America so how was I supposed to teach a class in Ukraine?  I kept on going over my script and what I needed to say.  In my head it sounded perfect.  I didn’t stutter my words, I didn’t say um a million times, so I was confident.  As we were in the classroom setting up our lesson plan all the students were already in the class.   And as the bell rang I wanted to run out of the room and scream. ‘Ahhhhh what am I doing.  Ahhhhhhhhhh.’  But I got myself together and Lindsey and I did our intro.  My mind couldn’t hear what she was saying because it kept going over my intro.  I might have looked confident up there in my shirt and tie but I was a wreck.  I did my intro with very little trouble.  We got through our first three activities which were pretty much us handing out a question we translated in Ukrainian and having them answer.  When they answered I had no idea what they were saying.  But we stood up there and agreed with them and told them good job.  And as I got to my part in giving instructions for the next activity my mind just drew a blank.  I looked at the words like it was the first time I’ve ever seen those words.  I sounded like a child trying to read for the first time.  I just wanted to stop and laugh and say I give up.  But as I tried to read the words the students would help me pronounce the words.  They were helpful and understood that this was our first time speaking Ukrainian in front of a class.  We got through the rest of class, the students said bye, we thanked them for their participation and help and I was finally able to take a breath.  It honestly felt like I was holding my breath the entire class.  I gave a sigh of relief looked over at Lindsey and gave her a high five.  We got the first lesson under our belt.  This was one of our many ‘Firsts’ here in Ukraine.  This is our first class.  I taught a class in Ukrainian.  And as we went over how the lesson went with our Technical Coordinator he said we did a good job.  Although I may not have done the best that I wished as far as language went I knew this was only my third week in the country.  And this was only the third week learning a language, and the next two years was going to be a learning experience.  As for today I learned that I’m not going to learn the entire language in 3 weeks.  And that my mistakes are just ways for myself to improve.  Today may have been a lesson taught by me, but at the end of the day it was really a lesson learned.